Greenland is greening, although very slowly. “Despite this handicap, a key species such as the Arctic dwarf birch could be established over more than 400,000sqkm … by the end of the century.” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2013/aug/28/climate-change-greenland-green)
For those of you, like me, with visual artifacting, the Arctic dwarf bitch is also expanding her range. Be wary.
“As oceans absorb CO2 from the air, their pH level falls gradually. Under the rapid escalation of greenhouse gas emissions, ocean acidification is gathering pace and many forms of marine life – especially species that build calcium-based shells – are under threat.” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2013/aug/25/rising-acid-levels-seas-endanger-marine-poertner)
Are we prepared to treat planet-scale acid reflux?
“Serious environmental damage has been caused by pumping water underground at high pressure to release trapped gas.” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2013/aug/24/lib-dems-damage-fracking-shale-gas-revolution)
A fartaclysm like we’ve never seen.
“The Defra-funded Cetacean Strandings Investigation Programme has reported an average of 500 incidents, involving up to 20 species, each year since its inception in 1990.” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/shortcuts/2013/aug/22/river-dee-dolphin-adventurous-marine-life)
‘C-SIP’ officers provide stranded cetaceans with a hot analgesic drink.
To avoid silt from storm run-off contaminating drinking water, “New York’s reservoirs will be managed by souped-up software.” (http://www.nature.com/news/forecasts-turn-tide-on-silt-1.13576)
2 trillion litres of Gazpacho.
“The National Farmers’ Union won a high court injunction restricting people from protesting against the [badger] cull. … However, lawful protest will still be allowed. … ‘Many people say they will be walking their dogs nearby on Monday night and afterwards.'” (http://www.theguardian.com/global/2013/aug/24/badger-cull-brian-may-rspca)
‘Walking their dogs’ must be code, but extrapolating from the mayhem that ensues when just two ‘walking dogs’ meet, it’s an ingenious diversionary tactic. ‘Mon the badgers!
“Few properties are equipped with flood defences such as ‘skirting’ and barriers, in part because owners fear this could put off future buyers” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2013/aug/19/flood-insurance-scheme-inadequate-study)
Whereas the decking, or ‘jetty’, and the tadpoles in the carpet easily pass inspection.
“Burying beetles occasionally punish young who nag for food by eating those who pester them most.” (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-23754861)
Evolution favours second-rate whingers. QED.
“A quarter of UK consumers said they would take the green option even if it cost them more money” and it’s almost half of consumers globally. (http://www.theguardian.com/business/2013/aug/19/ethical-shopping-growing-popularity-fairtrade)
The other half of consumers said the figures were horsemeat.
“Parts of the Yellow River delta are dropping by up to 25 centimetres a year, probably because of groundwater extraction for onshore fish tanks.” (http://www.nature.com/news/fish-farms-cause-rapid-sea-level-rise-1.13569)
EU regulations require packaging to state ‘eels live in a yellow sunk-marine’.