“The RAC is warning motorists of the risk of driving through deep floodwater. … ‘While cars have improved significantly in technical terms in recent years they are still not waterproof and will break down if they are driven through deep water.'” (

The ministry for stating the bleeding obvious added the reminder that humans are not amphibious.



“The emerald ash borer … beetles’ larvae feed on the surface layers of the wood of [the ash] tree, cutting off vital supplies of nutrients and water, causing branches and eventually the whole tree to die.” (

The European ash may be bored to death.


“Vaccination does not disrupt social structure … the social network in badgers – where relatively few individuals might be responsible for disease spread – lends itself to vaccination and could lead quite rapidly to herd immunity.” (

Now we now that badgers use social networking, there’s no need even for an anti-virus. Simply apply a global ‘unfriend’ to those with TB. Problem solved.


“Over the weekend the archbishop of Canterbury … waded into the row over energy prices, warning that the latest wave of hikes looks inexplicable.” (

Even divine representatives have no explanation for our power generation strategy.


“Turtle doves are the fastest declining species – down 95 per cent since 1970 – and reports from earlier this year suggest it is the worst year ever for sightings. Other species hit hard include lapwings, which are down 63 per cent since 1970; corn buntings, down 90 per cent; and skylarks, down 59 per cent.” (

At this rate soon we won’t be able to move for these birds flapping around our ankles.