“An EU energy label, to be introduced from 1 September, means manufacturers will not be able to make or import vacuum cleaners with a motor that exceeds 1,600 watts.” (http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/aug/21/anger-as-eu-bans-most-powerful-vacuum-cleaners)
The move is intended to make Europe suck less.
“Environment Secretary goes down on the beach to reveal plans on tackling marine litter.” (http://www.mcsuk.org/scotland/Working+with+you/Working+with+you/Scottish+Marine+Litter+Strategy+launched)
Edinburgh’s Portobello area is renown for revealing all sorts.
“Boar became extinct in England 300 years ago, but in the 1990s a group escaped from a farm on the edge of the forest and 10 years ago another 60 were released without authorisation. Since then they have spread and bred.” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2014/aug/21/wild-boar-forest-of-dean-activists-vow-to-stop-cull)
Very civilised, making their own sandwiches.
“Google is likely not the only company that suffers from shark bites.” (http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2014/aug/14/google-undersea-fibre-optic-cables-shark-attacks)
However, given its megalomania, it’s only concerned by gigabites.
“Belgium, Denmark, Greece, Spain, France, Ireland, the Netherlands, Poland, Portugal and United Kingdom will all be penalized for exceeding their fishing quotas last year. Quota overshoot affects 49 stocks, and deductions, which total 21286 tonnes, will apply to the same stocks as the present year. In cases where no available quota is left, the deduction will apply to a similar species.” (http://oceana.org/en/eu/media-reports/press-releases/oceana-supports-penalties-for-member-states-that-exceeded-2013-fishing-quotas)
Fishing operatives must convince the similar species to act like the overfished species and avoid being caught.
“Shark fin traders in Guangzhou—the current informal capital of the shark fin trade—say their sales have fallen by 82 percent in just two years.” (http://news.mongabay.com/2014/0812-hance-demand-shark-fin.html)
The graph of plummeting demand is ironically shark fin-shaped.
“Heathrow said July had been its busiest ever month, with just under 7 million passengers travelling through its terminals, an increase of 0.5% on last year. … Gatwick also claimed a record-breaking month, with just over 4 million passengers flying through its airport, an increase of 6% on last year.” (http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2014/aug/11/heathrow-gatwick-bosses-clash-expansion-new-runway)
It’s plane that we must flight this runway success.
“Deep water’s ability to sequester mercury may soon be exhausted. Humans are on track to emit as much mercury in the next 50 years as they did in the last 150 years … increas[ing] the odds that mercury levels in key food species will rise, increasing humans’ exposure.” (http://www.nature.com/news/humans-have-tripled-mercury-levels-in-upper-ocean-1.15680)
Those of you ’emitting’ mercury will be made safe with duct tape (http://www.epa.gov/mercury/spills/#thermometer).
“A new technique to help work out how many natterjack toads are left in Scotland … involves using the unique yellow stripe and patters of warts on individual toads to identify them.” (http://www.rspb.org.uk/media/releases/379805-warts-and-all)
This matter of toads
That natter by roads
Ain’t chatter of maws
But patter of warts!
“As long as a healthy balance is maintained, grazing and expanding native woodland can run hand-in-hand.” (http://www.woodlandtrust.presscentre.com/News-Releases/Cattle-helping-to-expand-new-woodland-in-the-Trossachs-11c4.aspx)
..or hoof in frond. Frightening.