“Deep water’s ability to sequester mercury may soon be exhausted. Humans are on track to emit as much mercury in the next 50 years as they did in the last 150 years … increas[ing] the odds that mercury levels in key food species will rise, increasing humans’ exposure.” (

Those of you ’emitting’ mercury will be made safe with duct tape (


“A new technique to help work out how many natterjack toads are left in Scotland … involves using the unique yellow stripe and patters of warts on individual toads to identify them.” (

This matter of toads
That natter by roads
Ain’t chatter of maws
But patter of warts!


“Agricultural giant Cargill, America’s largest palm oil importer, will no longer buy palm oil from sources associated with deforestation, conversion of peatlands, and social conflict. … The company added that it may cut off suppliers who don’t comply with its policy.” (

Suppliers who don’t adhere may find themselves on a slippery slope.


“Britain needs gas as part of its new energy strategy, both as a bridge to renewables and as a backup to intermittent [wind] power generation. If you have gas, why not use your own?” (

Sales of rubber tubing rocket.

(A worrying preponderance of the scatological this week)


“The study is the first to take a comprehensive look at the impacts of selective logging across animal groups and identify logging intensity as the most important factor in driving biodiversity loss. The researchers reached that conclusion after testing nearly three dozen other explantations.” (

A serengetipous malapropism.


“A mystery crater spotted in the frozen Yamal peninsula in Siberia earlier this month was probably caused by methane released as permafrost thawed, researchers in Russia say. … Since the crater was reported, local reindeer herders have noted a similar but smaller hole nearby.” (

The reindeer resent any implication that, as grazers, they could be responsible for any methane production.