Carbon Dioxice

“Even if greenhouse gases were frozen at current levels, the oceans would continue to warm for centuries and thus lead to rising sea levels.” (http://www.theecologist.org/News/news_analysis/2959092/the_world_is_already_committed_to_a_six_meter_sea_level_rise.html)

If greenhouse gases were frozen they would be solids and your lungs would be full of grit and frostbite. Better that than sea water?

Dis-bees

“The movement of bees and related equipment into, or out of, the affected apiary are under specific controls supervised by Scottish Government Bee Inspectors and include enhanced biosecurity measures and increased vigilance in the area.” (http://news.scotland.gov.uk/News/Bee-disease-confirmed-1b36.aspx)

Scottish Government Bee Inspectors are working closely with their Irish counterparts, the Hibernian Government Bee Inspectors, AKA the Hibey G Bees.

Carboff

“The Chancellor has just effectively put a carbon tax on carbon free electricity, which will mean fewer renewables and more uncertainty for the industry.” (http://www.foe.co.uk/blog/like-making-apple-juice-pay-alcohol-tax-clean-energy-faces-carbon-tax)

Snappy name: car-bon, like ‘good car’. Have I stumbled upon the fossils fuelling this oxymoron? Or am I just another fool who’ll be paying it?

Shoal Shows Shell

“Shell crew on the Fennica icebreaker last week found the 39-inch (1 meter) gash in the hull, likely caused by an uncharted shoal. Voyage time between Portland and southern Alaska should not delay the company’s plans to begin drilling off northern Alaska.” (http://uk.reuters.com/article/2015/07/13/us-usa-shell-arctic-idUKKCN0PN2IQ20150713)

However, the uncharted fish plan to continue protesting.

Bison Bite

“While the rapid deaths and other symptoms shown in the mostly female bison that died at Fort Belknap were suggestive of anthrax, it was premature to sound an alarm … The reservation’s bison manager was out sick on Thursday and could not be reached for comment.” (http://uk.reuters.com/article/2015/07/10/us-usa-montana-bison-idUKKCN0PK04K20150710)

These circumstances are in no way connected.

Refubees

“The researchers suggested that one potential way to mitigate the bees’ reduced range would be to experiment with relocating bumblebee populations northwards, as has been done before with butterflies and plants.” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/jul/09/bumblebee-habitat-shrinking-europe-north-america-climate-change-study)

Travellers heading north will be offered the chance to chaperone a small swarm.

Bats

“Fruit-eating bats are vital to tropical reforestation due to their … fundamental role in seed dispersal due to their exceptional species diversity, abundance, and a variety of canopy and understory feeding habits.” (http://news.mongabay.com/2015/0708-tcs-montoro-seed-dispersal-bats.html)

Essentially, growing bat-shit canopy.