Atlastka

“Shell said today it had made a marginal discovery of oil and gas with its summer exploration in the Chukchi Sea but not enough to continue to the search for the ‘foreseeable’ future.” (http://www.theguardian.com/business/2015/sep/28/shell-ceases-alaska-arctic-drilling-exploratory-well-oil-gas-disappoints)

The company thought it could make “up polar” into “popular” but it turned out “unpopular” made a “polar u-pun”.

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Shoal Shows Shell

“Shell crew on the Fennica icebreaker last week found the 39-inch (1 meter) gash in the hull, likely caused by an uncharted shoal. Voyage time between Portland and southern Alaska should not delay the company’s plans to begin drilling off northern Alaska.” (http://uk.reuters.com/article/2015/07/13/us-usa-shell-arctic-idUKKCN0PN2IQ20150713)

However, the uncharted fish plan to continue protesting.

Alas-ka

“The Bureau of Ocean Energy Management, an agency within the U.S. Department of the Interior, gave conditional approval in May to Shell’s resumption of fossil fuel exploration in the Arctic. …
The decision was met with approval by some Alaska lawmakers, who believe it will bring money and jobs to the state, as well as protests from environmentalists.” (http://uk.reuters.com/article/2015/06/02/us-shell-alaska-lawsuit-idUKKBN0OI2IH20150602)

Alaska lawmakers welcome protests as these also bring in revenue and much needed social contact.

Featherwit

“The bird leaves New Zealand in March to fly some 10,000km to feeding grounds in China and the Koreas. And then in May, the godwit undertakes a 6,000km trip to western Alaska to breed and nest, before returning directly to New Zealand across the Pacific in August/September.” (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-25274483)

The godwit: the avian antithesis of the fuckwit.