Message in a Bottle

“The European Patent Office (EPO) in Munich and the Carlsberg company were sloshed Thursday in an open letter by campaigners opposed to the patenting of plants and animals.”

Someone must have been under the undue influence to decide to allow Heineken and Carlsberg to ‘own’ barley.


Slow Ice

“If a connoisseur is willing to part with serious cash for a tumbler of 50-year-old scotch, … why wouldn’t that same customer opt for a high-end [glacial] ice cube? Because it was formed under tremendous pressure, it is extremely dense and melts more slowly than manufactured ice.” (

Whisky, not glaciers, should be on the rocks.


“The welfare of animals at London zoo is being put at risk by drunken visitors at its Friday night parties. … One zookeeper at the penguin beach was asked by a man leaning over the glass barrier, ‘Which penguin can I fight?'” (

As he was ejected, he protested, “I was only having a giraffe!”



“Whale beer will include, among other things, whale meal.” (

Look out for a Real Whale Festival near you.