Dolphlirt

“The complex and strange behaviour includes posing with head and tail lifted from the water in what had been described as a banana position. Some males will also balance a sea sponge on their foreheads to attract females.” http://uk.whales.org/news/2017/06/dolphins-pose-and-flirt-to-get-partner

Sponge-bob boomerman.

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Zoobesity

“We are a nation of couch potatoes, lacking the will and the strength to turn around the obesity tanker. …
While seeking to minimise the barriers that prevent healthy behaviours [in humans], we should make sure that the design of new environments is taken into account.
A good model would be to look at how zoos are designed. Before a zoo is built, it is common practice for zoologists, biologists, animal psychologists, nutritionists, architects, designers and landscape architects to work closely together to create an environment that optimises the living conditions for the animals. …
Ironically, we do not seem to make the same demands when a town, neighbourhood or workplace environment for humans is planned and designed.” https://theconversation.com/learning-from-zoos-how-our-environment-can-influence-our-health-77063

Urban planning must urgently focus on creating spaces suitable for lifetime incarceration that remove the last vestiges of free will.

Alleged engagement with Badgers

“Dr Paul Monaghan (Caithness, Sutherland and Easter Ross) (SNP)
He is highlighting some alleged facts in relation to the engagement that badgers have with cattle. I would like to suggest that there is absolutely no evidence to substantiate that view whatsoever.

Geoffrey Clifton-Brown (The Cotswolds) (Con)
I simply say to the hon. Gentleman, who is an intelligent chap, that every bit of logic points to the fact that there must be a link. If badgers have TB and cattle have TB—I do not think this island is alone; this takes place in the rest of the world —any scientific hypothesis would assume there is a link. It is not credible for him to suggest otherwise.” https://goo.gl/QNjbae

Assumption, the watchword of logicians.

From the Badger culling debate at UK parliament on 27 March.
Transcript at https://hansard.parliament.uk/Commons/2017-03-27/debates/7EE168FA-D5CD-41B5-9563-E801D4777EE3/BadgerCulling.
Video at http://parliamentlive.tv/Event/Index/94880530-c845-4ce1-99df-b464223f225e

Bogged down in Badgers

“Geoffrey Clifton-Brown (The Cotswolds) (Con)
I commend my hon. Friend for putting some of the facts about wildlife on the record. He is right about the reduction in some of our bird and mammal species, such as the hedgehog.

Dr Paul Monaghan (Caithness, Sutherland and Easter Ross) (SNP)
Will the hon. Gentleman be kind enough to cite the source of the evidence he just supported?

Geoffrey Clifton-Brown
Well, the source is evident to any countryman out there. There has been a rapid decline in hedgehogs, and we know perfectly well that badgers eat hedgehogs’ young, wild birds and birds’ nests. That, however, is not the subject of the debate, and I do not want to get drawn on that red herring.” https://goo.gl/LYqGfR

Herring and hedgehogs should not be confused, although both are threatened most from the actions of…humans. However herring are considered the most sustainable fish to eat.

Rather than spell out the evident source of these wildlife facts, the sort of ‘countrymen out there’ referred to by Mr Clifton-Brown seem rather busy damming, diverting or dredging all evident sources.

From the Badger culling debate at UK parliament on 27 March.
Transcript at https://hansard.parliament.uk/Commons/2017-03-27/debates/7EE168FA-D5CD-41B5-9563-E801D4777EE3/BadgerCulling.
Video at http://parliamentlive.tv/Event/Index/94880530-c845-4ce1-99df-b464223f225e

Bagging Badgers

“Does he agree that those who oppose the cull look at the badger as a friendly, lovable animal, which in effect it is not? Factually, the badger is responsible for destroying bee hives, hedgehogs and ground-nesting birds such as skylarks, grey partridges ​and meadow pipits. [Interruption.] That is true. It is also responsible for the loss of wood warblers, nightingales and stone curlews. Those are facts. The badger is a danger, and like all wild animals that have no natural predator—just like deer and foxes—it should be culled, so that numbers are maintained.” Richard Drax (South Dorset) (Con) https://goo.gl/N7Uwim

A compelling argument for culling humans.

From the Badger culling debate at UK parliament on 27 March.
Transcript at https://hansard.parliament.uk/Commons/2017-03-27/debates/7EE168FA-D5CD-41B5-9563-E801D4777EE3/BadgerCulling.
Video at http://parliamentlive.tv/Event/Index/94880530-c845-4ce1-99df-b464223f225e

Barncake Day

“While free-range egg farmers would prefer their birds to be outside, they also wouldn’t want to risk the health of their birds. Their sheds have plenty of room for the birds to move around freely and include scratching areas so birds can still display their natural instinctive behaviour.
Farmers have also put in additional stimulants like footballs, cabbages and even Christmas trees to keep the birds happy.” https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/feb/28/eggs-temporarily-lose-free-range-status-due-to-bird-flu-restrictions

In ancient times, jungle fowl were originally domesticated for their invaluable natural instinct to peck up fallen pine needles.

After perfunctory testing on chickens, cabbage is set to be marketed as a natural alternative to recreational stimulants.

Sexual Sealing

“On three separate occasions, a research team led by William A. Haddad and de Bruyn spotted young male seals sexually coercing what appeared to be healthy penguins of unknown gender.

‘This really made us sit up and take notice,’ said de Bruyn.” (http://www.bbc.co.uk/earth/story/20141117-why-seals-have-sex-with-penguins)

Being mounted by a seal would do that.