Gastrocomical

“As many as nine out of 10 of the world’s seabirds are likely to have pieces of plastic in their guts, a new study estimates. … ‘It’s pretty astronomical,’ said [the] study coauthor.” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/sep/01/up-to-90-of-seabirds-have-plastic-in-their-guts-study-finds)

*Gastronomical or plastronomical.

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In Claw Taste

“Indonesian police have arrested a suspected wildlife smuggler after discovering nearly two dozen rare live birds, mostly yellow-crested cockatoos, jammed inside plastic water bottles in his luggage.” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/may/06/smuggler-caught-in-indonesia-with-rare-birds-jammed-inside-water-bottles)

The bottles were mostly cocka-cola, tweeted an insider.

Horizontoil

“The eggs of many animals – from trout in the Gulf [of Mexico] to pelicans nesting as far away as Minnesota – have been found to contain oil and the dispersant used by BP in the wake of the [Deepwater Horizon] spill.” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/mar/31/bp-pr-effort-gulf-coast-deepwater)

Any desirable ‘self-cooking-and-washing-up-after’ properties promoted by BP were met with scepticism by Easter eaters.

Unnestical

“We regard the current activities around the osprey nest as unethical and unacceptable. Even if they are within the law, they must stop immediately.” (http://www.rspb.org.uk/media/releases/397696-osprey-nest-activities-unethical-and-unacceptable)

The ospreys were unruffled by the criticism.

Featherprints

“Red and green magnetic fluorescent powders were the most successful at recovering fingerprints from feathers. Black magnetic powder was the most successful at recovering fingermarks from eggs.” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/jan/14/scientists-recover-fingerprints-bird-feathers-eggs)

Not all you clutch is fair game so beware of being fingered for foul-play.

Razor flyer

During India’s kite-flying season, birds’ “injuries are caused by ‘manja’, the string used to fly kites. Gummed and coated with powdered glass, the strings are made dangerously sharp to slash the thread of an opponent’s kite mid-air during kite fights.” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/jan/14/uttarayan-bird-fatalities-kite-festival-india-makar-sankranti-january-14)

Next week: pooh sticks laced with mercury to make them sleeker.

Nightingail

“The nightingale has suffered a 90% reduction in numbers over the past 40 years. … In an attempt to protect the nightingale, the Lodge Hill site [in Medway, Kent] … was named as an SSSI [Site of Special Scientific Interest] … [yet] Medway council prepared plans to build 5,000 homes at Lodge Hill.” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2014/dec/28/nightingale-population-government-drive-build-new-homes)

The stunning development will be called Silent Groves or Nightingale’s End. Advertising is expected along the lines ‘these homes must be seen to be believed’ and ‘only the last few remain’.