“A visitor to the [Scottish] Western Isles photographed a rare red-throated diver with a plastic bag in its beak. … It is depressing to think that plastic bags are even reaching remote lochans in a place like North Uist.” (

The red-throated diver is threatened by the expanding range of the mainland white-polythene carrier.


“Of 22 sites surveyed in 2013, this farm had more pairs of waders than any other. With 80 pairs in total, numbers of farmland waders were high enough for the farm to be regarded as a key wader site.” (

A similar survey is tracking the haunts of regular wellington boots.


“The bird leaves New Zealand in March to fly some 10,000km to feeding grounds in China and the Koreas. And then in May, the godwit undertakes a 6,000km trip to western Alaska to breed and nest, before returning directly to New Zealand across the Pacific in August/September.” (

The godwit: the avian antithesis of the fuckwit.


“Turtle doves are the fastest declining species – down 95 per cent since 1970 – and reports from earlier this year suggest it is the worst year ever for sightings. Other species hit hard include lapwings, which are down 63 per cent since 1970; corn buntings, down 90 per cent; and skylarks, down 59 per cent.” (

At this rate soon we won’t be able to move for these birds flapping around our ankles.


“We hope that the reduction in reported illegal poisoning of birds of prey in 2012 will be maintained, and that we see a clear effect on the ground with birds of prey returning to our skies.” (

The effect on the ground is expected to be a bird-shaped shadow.


“The more forest grew on and near a coffee farm, the more birds the farm had, and the lower its infestation rates [and] damage by a devastating coffee pest, the coffee berry borer beetle.” (

The more trees grew, tiddly pom,
The more birds flew, tiddly pom,
The pests that chew, tiddly pom,
Got fewer.