Air on the Water

“In May the PLA [Port of London Authority] released its own air quality strategy for the Thames, including targets to cut NOx and particulates by half over the next 25 years.
Such measures are already being implemented in the Thames Clippers, but critics have pointed out that even with these changes pollution levels would still far exceed those of road vehicles.
“To me it’s weak – it’s a lot of smoke and mirrors to say they are doing something.”” https://www.independent.co.uk/environment/air-pollution-river-thames-boats-transport-shipping-ferries-nitrogen-dioxide-sadiq-khan-a8411561.html

The mirrors are making the smoke seem twice as bad as it actually is.

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Scuttle Fish

“Indonesian Maritime Affairs and Fisheries Ministry … blew up 41 illegal foreign fishing vessels. … In an act of ironic repurposing, the boats were downed with relatively weak explosives in order to maintain their shapes as underwater fish-aggregating devices.” (http://news.mongabay.com/2015/0521-kaye-41-vessels-sunk.html)

An ironic reporpoise commented that, in addition to their salvation, the fish were delighted to receive the bonus pollution.

Mare or Less

“New legislation states that those boats which bring social and economic benefits to local communities, without damaging the marine environment, should have more opportunities to fish than others … to reward our ‘best’ fishermen, who have the least environmental impact.” (http://www.rspb.org.uk/media/releases/386061-sustainable-fishermen-land-big-opportunity)

Boats that remain in port will receive unlimited quotas to fish the Sea of Tranquility.

Phinvention

“Sailors and crews of boats using Inverness ity harbour and marina, and the Kessock Channel, [are asked] to proceed with caution and not to seek out a baby dolphin born in recent days.” (http://uk.whales.org/news/2014/09/boat-crews-asked-to-keep-distance-from-baby-dolphin)

Invernessity has the mother dol-phinvention.