Drink Drive

A car dealer in [China’s] Eshan county reported last week that six visiting elephants had drunk two tonnes of water in his shop.


…before asking to test drive a motorhome, since their commute between home and forage habitats has become ridiculous.

Nuclear Confission

“A right-wing British government has invited companies controlled by the Chinese Communist Party – and in one case, the Chinese military – into the heart of the UK’s strategically vital energy infrastructure.” (http://www.theecologist.org/News/news_analysis/2986180/uks_nuclear_deal_with_china_is_a_boon_for_bankers_and_no_one_else.html)

Less Eco, more £.co


“China has committed to close down its domestic ivory market, which conservationists say provides cover for the illegal ivory trade, for which China is also the biggest player.” (http://news.mongabay.com/2015/0529-china-to-end-ivory-trade.html)

Never underestimate the Attenborough Effect (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/feb/20/david-attenborough-calls-on-chinese-president-end-ivory-trade).

Smoggey Sauce

“Beijing has extended a ban on outdoor barbecues to restaurants operating in some suburban areas as it tries to improve its notoriously poor air quality in case it wins the 2022 Winter Olympics. … The government blames them for contributing to smog, despite much public ridicule that dirty factories are more to blame.” (http://uk.reuters.com/article/2015/05/07/us-china-olympics-smog-idUKKBN0NS04V20150507)

The decision is a boost for athletes on a sashimi diet.

How Not To Lead

“Dapu’s lead problem made national headlines last June in an expose by state broadcaster CCTV, in which the head of the township was shown saying children might have raised their own lead levels by chewing on pencils.” (http://uk.reuters.com/article/2015/05/05/us-china-environment-idUKKBN0NQ2AA20150505)

HB, 2B etc. pencils will now be labelled Pb and will only write on roofs.


“Poor air quality has persisted with [Chinese] officials continuing to focus on economic growth, and lax enforcement of environmental regulations remains rife. In a sign of growing environmental activism, Greenpeace East Asia projected the message “Blue Sky Now!” on to a facade of the Drum Tower, a historic building north of the Forbidden City.” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2014/oct/10/china-pollution-levels-hit-20-times-safe-levels)

Unfortunately no-one can see the message for smog.


“The bird leaves New Zealand in March to fly some 10,000km to feeding grounds in China and the Koreas. And then in May, the godwit undertakes a 6,000km trip to western Alaska to breed and nest, before returning directly to New Zealand across the Pacific in August/September.” (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-25274483)

The godwit: the avian antithesis of the fuckwit.


“Melting sea ice has also opened up new shipping routes. Russia is now advertising the Northern Sea Route, which cuts the journey time from China to Europe by up to two weeks. … ‘Though you will need to pay for a nuclear-powered icebreaker.'” (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-23794232)

A step up from a snow-blower.


“The result, over the next 20 years, ‘could be that the Himalayas become the most dammed region in the world'” (http://www.theguardian.com/global-development/2013/aug/10/china-india-water-grab-dams-himalayas-danger)

Whichever power source these countries develop, the environment is ‘damned if they dam, damned if they don’t.’