Race Lost

“Eastern cougars were declared endangered in 1973, even though the last known records were tied to one killed by a hunter in Maine in 1938 and another in New Brunswick, Canada, in 1932. … Eastern cougars … disappeared in the 1800s with the arrival of European immigrants who killed the predators to protect themselves and their livestock. Their demise also was linked to the destruction of forests for wood, which pushed the cougars’ chief prey, white-tailed deer, to near extinction.” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/jun/17/eastern-cougar-extinct-no-longer-needs-protection-says-us-conservation-agency)

Barn doors rotting on hinges, horses extinct.


“Shell estimates its Arctic activities will expose more than 2,500 [endangered] bowhead whales, more than 2,500 gray whales and more than 50,000 [threatened] ringed seals to continuous sounds and pulsed sounds, deemed damaging enough to constitute harassment.” (http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/jun/05/shells-us-arctic-drilling-whales-seals)

This intense noise pollution would be in order to extract oil, the likely spillage of which would destroy the fragile Arctic ecosystem, and the burning of which would set the planet on a path to climate change that would render the oceans uninhabitably acidic. So the marine mammals may as well surrender now.

Mickey Maui’s

New Zealand’s “Maui’s dolphin population now stands at between 42 and 47 individuals. … Strikingly marked, with a dark, rounded dorsal fin that has been likened to a Mickey Mouse ear, … at the present rate, the dolphins may be extinct in 14 years. … The New Zealand government [is] beginning development of a five-year research plan for the species rather than taking immediate conservation action.” (http://news.mongabay.com/2015/0605-kessler-mauis-dolphin-decline.html)

Preparation, development and authorisation of the five-year research plan is expected to take nine years.


“Despite becoming extinct over 400 years ago, 14 per cent of the respondents believed this flightless bird [the dodo] is currently under threat from hunters. 19% of respondents also listed the population of the dinosaur Brachiosaurus as endangered, and 14% as not endangered. Hundreds of people also wrongly deemed the grey squirrel, crane fly, swan, flamingo and Friesian cow (a typical breed of cattle) as endangered species.” (http://www.wwf.org.uk/about_wwf/press_centre/index.cfm?uNewsID=7557)

Bless the British public and all other ideological dinosaurs still roaming the Earth.

Help us to save Friesian cattle,
From hunters who wickedly battle,
Daisy and her ilk,
To curdle their milk,
And leave their bones to deathly rattle.

Beware, if you walk in the park,
Of dinosaurs chewing the bark.
It wouldn’t take munch,
For you to go crunch,
And find yourself more in the dark.

Shed tears for the endangered crane fly:
The blundering, long-legged pain fly.
It circles your lamp,
Until there’s a thump,
And left on your book is a stain fly.

Beware if you visit the beach,
For dodos have made it their niche.
Your crisps they will snatch,
Your eyes they will scratch,
And on leaving they’ll shit on your peach.


“We need to take immediate action to protect the monarch so that it doesn’t become another tragic example of a widespread species being erased because we falsely assumed it was too common to become extinct.” (http://news.mongabay.com/2014/0908-morgan-monarch-esa.html)

The passenger pigeon [Past] was a dreadful president.
No, precedent.


“Anything that looks roughly two-thirds wildcat will be classified as a wildcat. … The Scottish wildcat … cannot stand to be around humans or their habitats.” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2013/sep/29/scottish-wildcat-extinction-by-stealth)

I’ve just been reclassified. Is there a support group?


“We need to be patient in other aspects of the recovery of these species such as the focus on why these birds [whooping cranes] have trouble reproducing in the wild … That may need to be learnt as well.” (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-23892244)

Vacancy advertisement for sex therapist states essential attributes as long legs and whooping.