Wateur

“The European commission believes the new measures will reduce potential health risks associated with drinking water from 4% to below 1%.” https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2018/feb/01/eu-measure-demands-rise-in-public-fountains-to-cut-bottle-waste

Now you can have 99 gulps before getting sick rather than 24, water companies are planning to market this as “99 slake“.

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Storming EUt

“Veteran British diplomat John Kerr — now Lord Kerr of Kinlochard — drafted the text that sets out the procedure for leaving the European Union as part of an effort to draw up an EU constitutional treaty in the early 2000s. …
‘It seemed to me very likely that a dictatorial regime would then, in high dudgeon, want to storm out. And to have a procedure for storming out seemed to be quite a sensible thing to do — to avoid the legal chaos of going with no agreement,’ Kerr said.” http://www.politico.eu/article/brexit-article-50-lord-kerr-john-kerr/

The UK government: putting the ‘tory’ in dictatorial.

EUtrophic

“At least 16 of the 100 largest pay-outs under the [EU Common Agricultural Policy] single payment scheme last year went to entities owned or run by people featured in the Sunday Times Rich List …
Other recipients in the Top 100 include wealthy foreign owners …
A spokesperson for the Earl of Moray said: ‘All our payments are received for land in hand and actively farmed by our business. As for the vast majority of farmers in the UK CAP support is an important part of our income and helps deliver the intended public policy objectives of maintaining food production, social fabric and environmental standards in rural areas.'” (http://energydesk.greenpeace.org/2016/09/29/common-agricultural-policy-millions-eu-subsidies-go-richest-landowners/)

Social fabric? That would be the wool you’re trying to pull over our eyes.

Broxic

“Successive UK governments exploited whatever loophole they could find [in the EU’s 1976 Bathing Water Directive], and continued to pump untreated sewage into our ocean until 1998, longer than any other European country.
With much of the Brexit camp promising victory parties lit by bonfires of so called ‘red tape’…” (http://www.theecologist.org/blogs_and_comments/commentators/2986960/outside_the_eu_the_uk_could_again_be_the_dirty_man_of_europe.html)

…one can only hope the burning tape releases noxious gas.

Biofools

“The EU’s long-awaited move to put the brakes on biofuels is a clear signal to the rest of the world that this is a false solution to the climate crisis. This must spark the end of burning food for fuel.” (http://www.theecologist.org/News/news_round_up/2848021/orangutans_reprieve_europarl_votes_to_limit_biofuels.html)

Moving to brake and sparking an end, on top of oily fuels, is a clear signal of farce.

Filamentary

“The phase-out of class D halogen light bulbs was due to take effect from September next year … The European Commission proposed to postpone the final stage based on industry’s concern, backed by some member states, that LED technology would not be ready to replace halogen lamps by 2016. … But recent studies have shown that efficient LED bulb replacements are already available on the market.” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/apr/20/eu-delays-ban-on-halogen-bulbs)

How many EU politicians and industry lobbyists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two weeks till the UK general election. Here’s a simple quiz to help you find the political party closest to your views: http://election2015.votematch.org/

Noxious

“Levels of nitrogen dioxide, mainly from diesel engines, are ‘excessive’ in many British cities. … The Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (Defra) said that Britain wasn’t alone in breaching the NO2 limits.” (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-26257703)

It would also like other technically illegal but common practice activities to be taken into account.