Cooking the Chinooks

“The fish farm’s owner, Cooke Aquaculture, said on Wednesday that several thousand Atlantic salmon may have ended up in the [Pacific] waters around the San Juan Islands after part of a net suffered a ‘structural failure’ [and] blamed Saturday’s incident on ‘exceptionally high tides and currents coinciding with this week’s solar eclipse’.” https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/aug/24/thousands-of-atlantic-salmon-escape-from-fish-farm-into-pacific

Tides and eclipses are notoriously difficult to predict.

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Tuna sauce

tuna cans on supermarket shelf, with campaign stickers

“Supporting more sustainable and socially responsible fisheries, particularly those that are small-scale, is an essential part of any sound tuna sourcing policy.” http://www.greenpeace.org.uk/winning-worlds-largest-tuna-company-means-oceans/

Small-scale is defined as less than 2mm – or, in the realm of sound tuna, an octave in a minor key.

Razor wired

“Dredging the sea bed for razor clams has a horrific impact, but to switch to electrofishing instead won’t allow our precious marine environment to recover.” https://greens.scot/news/electrofishing-trial-decision-criticised-by-greens

First their homes are bulldozed, then the air they breathe is electrified – life on a knife edge for razor clams.

MacHaddock

“The MCS encouraged people to ask for ‘green-certified’ haddock – caught in the north-east Arctic and Iceland – in fish and chip shops and on fish counters, or eat fish on the green list such as coley, mackerel and hake.” https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2017/mar/17/haddock-fish-scotland-uk-waters-removed-sustainable-seafood-list

The sustainability rating of the sturgeon was still being calculated.

Sticklejerk

A kingfisher “kills the fish by striking them against its perch. This softens the stiff spines of the sticklebacks, making them easier to swallow. However, the bird appears to have gone a step further by using the spines to pin three sticklebacks to its regular branch.” http://scottishwildlifetrust.org.uk/article/kingfisher-mystery-in-montrose/

Breakfast cereal for birds: Fish Crispies – slap, stickle, prop; and for tea a little smokie.

Sartorial Sardine

“Improving the welfare of fish within nets is an emerging area of research, as reducing stress during capture improves the quality (and price) of the fish that end up in restaurants.” https://theconversation.com/tens-of-thousands-of-dead-fish-just-washed-up-on-a-cornish-beach-heres-why-70696

It shouldn’t be hard to convince them that fishnets are a benign fashion accessory.

Fully Fishy

“89.5% of fish are now either ‘fully fished’ or overfished … Fully fished is an industry term used for a species that is caught to the ‘optimum’ amount, it’s often passed off as sustainable, but in reality often means the species is caught right up to the breaking point, but not beyond (that’s when it becomes ‘overfished’).” (http://www.greenpeace.org.uk/blog/oceans/895-oceans-fish-are-now-fully-or-overfished-lowdown-uns-16-sofia-report-20160923)

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; give him a trawler and he’ll feed his family on caviar wrapped in gold leaf for three decades before leaving the ecological bomb crater for someone else to sort out.