Fishtive

“All the fish in a lake in Bristol are to be removed and destroyed in a bid to discourage fishing.” (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-35134740)

The removal of the fish will be carried out by specially trained fishers over the next ten years.

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Scuttle Fish

“Indonesian Maritime Affairs and Fisheries Ministry … blew up 41 illegal foreign fishing vessels. … In an act of ironic repurposing, the boats were downed with relatively weak explosives in order to maintain their shapes as underwater fish-aggregating devices.” (http://news.mongabay.com/2015/0521-kaye-41-vessels-sunk.html)

An ironic reporpoise commented that, in addition to their salvation, the fish were delighted to receive the bonus pollution.

Fly-fishing

“If the invasive goldfish escape into waterways downstream, they pose a threat to native species such as channel catfish, pumpkinseed and blue gill sun fish. … Authorities are seeking the public’s help in finding out who dumped the goldfish.” (http://uk.reuters.com/article/2015/04/11/us-usa-colorado-goldfish-idUKKBN0N12BA20150411)

The pumpkinseed originally drew the canaryfish. The catfish had to be sent in after it, but became distracted by the magpiefish that were following the blue gill sun fish. Thankfully this bungled trophic cascade was halted before helpful local residents released dogfish, lionfish or human angler fish.
Next week: more non-native nonsense here on Channel Catfish.

Horizontoil

“The eggs of many animals – from trout in the Gulf [of Mexico] to pelicans nesting as far away as Minnesota – have been found to contain oil and the dispersant used by BP in the wake of the [Deepwater Horizon] spill.” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/mar/31/bp-pr-effort-gulf-coast-deepwater)

Any desirable ‘self-cooking-and-washing-up-after’ properties promoted by BP were met with scepticism by Easter eaters.

Plaices of Eight

“Closing down markets to ‘pirate’ fish is the fastest way to eliminate the indiscriminate destruction IUU [Illegal, Unreported and Unregulated] fishing wreaks on coastal communities and the marine environment on which they depend.” (http://www.wwf.org.uk/about_wwf/press_centre/index.cfm?uNewsID=7473)

Meanwhile, Florida scientists have developed a device that can genetically verify whether imported fish destined for dining tables is the popular firm-fleshed fillets of grouper or less expensive, potentially harmful Asian catfish. (http://uk.reuters.com/article/2015/02/06/us-usa-florida-fish-idUKKBN0LA00N20150206)

Group-arr.

Snap

“Grey snapper [fish] larvae are acoustically active during the night. … The larvae produce ‘knock’ and ‘growl’ sounds similar to the adults. … However, exactly how they produce these sounds and any other functions they may provide are still unknown.” (http://news.mongabay.com/2015/0129-montoro-fish-larvae-produce-sounds.html)

Further research is needed to confirm that the full acoustic range of these fish is in fact ‘snap, crackle, pop’.

Polystein

“Microbeads and fragments that fish eat typically pass through their bodies and are excreted. But [microplastic] fibres are becoming enmeshed in gastrointestinal tracts of some fish. … There is also a chance that fibres are in drinking water piped from the lakes. … Two dozen varieties of German beer contained microplastics.” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/jan/09/great-lakes-plastic-microfibre-pollution-us)

A pint of your finest plastener lager, or Lego Brecks, if you please.