Monochocomatic

“Founded in 1991 as a pioneering organic brand, Green & Black’s is famous for its Classic bars, which have ‘organic’ displayed prominently on wrappers under the company’s logo. But the new Velvet Edition dark chocolate bars going on sale in UK supermarkets this month makes no claim to be organic.
The Fairtrade logo has also been ditched as the cocoa beans for the range have been sourced via a certification scheme called Cocoa Life, set up by [US food giant and owner] Mondelēz.” https://www.theguardian.com/business/2017/aug/03/green-blacks-new-uk-chocolate-bar-not-organic-fairtrade

Brown & Grey’s is so much less appetising.

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Square meal

“Free range chickens are allowed a square metre each.” https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2017/jul/17/close-to-the-sheds-the-smell-is-overpowering-inside-a-herefordshire-mega-farm

250 laps is a whole kilometre!

Tuna sauce

tuna cans on supermarket shelf, with campaign stickers

“Supporting more sustainable and socially responsible fisheries, particularly those that are small-scale, is an essential part of any sound tuna sourcing policy.” http://www.greenpeace.org.uk/winning-worlds-largest-tuna-company-means-oceans/

Small-scale is defined as less than 2mm – or, in the realm of sound tuna, an octave in a minor key.

Drink Shrink

“Exporters to the UK have been shrinking the size of products such as chocolate bars and fruit juices since the Brexit vote but not reducing the prices they charge British consumers in the shops.” https://www.theguardian.com/money/2017/jun/01/revealed-chocolate-and-drinks-shrink-since-brexit-vote-with-no-price-drop

A possible upside to Brexit: the campaign against obesity and food waste enters a stealth phase.

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See wee seaweed seed

“This development will create opportunities to grow Scotland’s seaweed industry by providing clarity over where seaweed may be grown, along with what kinds of developments will be approved. …
‘“We are starting to see the growth in seaweed as a commercial product, used in a huge range of items including food, cosmetics and fertilisers.
‘We know the west coast of Scotland is the perfect environment for seaweed cultivation.'” https://news.gov.scot/news/building-a-commercial-seaweed-industry

The Scottish government is committed to development development, growth growth and a culture culture.

Barncake Day

“While free-range egg farmers would prefer their birds to be outside, they also wouldn’t want to risk the health of their birds. Their sheds have plenty of room for the birds to move around freely and include scratching areas so birds can still display their natural instinctive behaviour.
Farmers have also put in additional stimulants like footballs, cabbages and even Christmas trees to keep the birds happy.” https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/feb/28/eggs-temporarily-lose-free-range-status-due-to-bird-flu-restrictions

In ancient times, jungle fowl were originally domesticated for their invaluable natural instinct to peck up fallen pine needles.

After perfunctory testing on chickens, cabbage is set to be marketed as a natural alternative to recreational stimulants.

Why Did The Chicken Cross the Pond?

“While European producers must safeguard the security and hygiene of products through the entire food chain, US producers use chemicals such as chlorine dioxide at the end of the production chain to kill pathogens in poultry meat; a measure that the study says is both cost-effective and hazardous.” (http://www.theecologist.org/News/news_analysis/2986876/ttip_the_downfall_of_european_agriculture.html)

Another potential benefit of TTIP: a menu including American delights such as Chlorine Chicken.