“The coal ignition triggered the series of events that led to Earth’s worst mass extinction. Its sulfur emissions created the acid rain that killed forests. Its carbon emissions acidified the oceans and warmed the planet, killing most marine life. The dead bodies fed bacteria that produced toxic hydrogen sulfide gas, which in turn killed off more species. The warming of the oceans produced a large methane release, which accelerated global warming faster yet.”

Any similarity to actual current events is entirely coincidental.



“An unusual experiment: Ten monkeys squatted in airtight chambers, watching cartoons for entertainment as they inhaled fumes from a diesel Volkswagen Beetle.”

Whatever about test rigging—again—we might pay attention if car manufacturing executives had diesel fumes pumped into their offices.

Alleged myths

“A [UK government] Business and Energy Department spokesman said: ‘There are a lot of myths about the alleged risks of fracking that are not backed up by evidence, and this survey shows that the vast majority of people asked said that they do not know a lot about it.'”

UK government: not listening to experts; not listening to citizens.



“Big oil already receives generous public subsidy to extract a resource we know we have to start leaving in the ground. It would be wrong for this same industry to be allowed to walk away from a situation that could create jobs and protect the marine environment we all rely on.”

The oil industry is notoriously slippery to pin down.



“…with the discovery of substantial new [oil] reserves 60 miles west of the Shetland Isles.
Hurricane Energy, which made the find, hopes to begin extraction of a projected one billion barrels of oil in 2019.”

The offshore energy company was named for the exciting new weather features it hopes to herald by liberating more fossil fuels.



“In the last decade, the share of renewables in the energy sector has doubled every 5.5 years. If doubling continues at this pace fossil fuels will exit the energy sector well before 2050.”

Double, double, oil in trouble; Fossils burn till carbon bubble.


Farcicological Dig

“All this nonsense is a substitute for a simple proposition: stop digging. There is only one form of carbon capture and storage that is scientifically proven, and which can be deployed immediately: leaving fossil fuels in the ground.” (

Hands up those government politicians who want to stop digging. You’ll have to stretch so I can see you above that hole you all seem to be in.