Clawmate Change

“We know emissions cause climate change. Until recently, assigning specific blame – establishing whose fault it is – wasn’t possible. But science is racing towards sure ways to clarify ‘whodunnit’ – and to what extent they did it.” (

The only way to get people’s attention is to make it a reality courtroom gameshow.


“A trillion dollars of investments in various oil and gas projects around the world are at risk – or stranded – due to the fall in oil prices.” (

However, “the current pipeline of renewables projects will be ‘more than adequate’ to hit the decarbonisation target” in Scotland. (

Bonus points for reusing the pipe.


“Methane emissions from abandoned [oil and gas] wells will increase total emissions to double that of the oil and gas industry’s current output. … Fossil fuel producers have run off with their cash and left the public purse to clean up their mess.” (

Well – adverb; in a good, proper, appropriate way, so as to bring about a fortunate outcome.


“The tumbling oil price has led to a trebling of insolvencies among UK oil and gas services companies so far this year, while £55bn of further oil projects [are] reportedly under threat.” (

Trebled insolvency despite liquid b-assets.


Despite 40,000 objections, “new laws will now be passed giving automatic access for gas and oil development below 300m.” (

“As the cleanest fossil fuel *gas provides a bridge to much greener future. … By removing barriers to deep underground drilling access, we are speeding up oil and gas and deep geothermal energy exploration.” (

Like the old idiom, barriers (homeowners) will cross that bridge (fossil fuel) when it starts burning.


“Britain needs gas as part of its new energy strategy, both as a bridge to renewables and as a backup to intermittent [wind] power generation. If you have gas, why not use your own?” (

Sales of rubber tubing rocket.

(A worrying preponderance of the scatological this week)


A government representative “dismissed concerns over water pollution from fracking in the UK, and the very small earthquakes caused … ‘It will not contaminate water supplies. It will not cause dangerous earthquakes.'” (

Just non-dangerous ones.


“Serious environmental damage has been caused by pumping water underground at high pressure to release trapped gas.” (

A fartaclysm like we’ve never seen.