“Sailors and crews of boats using Inverness ity harbour and marina, and the Kessock Channel, [are asked] to proceed with caution and not to seek out a baby dolphin born in recent days.” (

Invernessity has the mother dol-phinvention.


“Thousands of fish are expected to die in Honolulu waters after a leaky pipe caused 1,400 tons of molasses to ooze into the harbor.” (

The popular destination is likely to be inundated by balding desperadoes who mishear ‘syrup of fish’.


“The Defra-funded Cetacean Strandings Investigation Programme has reported an average of 500 incidents, involving up to 20 species, each year since its inception in 1990.” (

‘C-SIP’ officers provide stranded cetaceans with a hot analgesic drink.