Home-improvers

“A single family of beavers removed high levels of sediment, nitrogen and phosphorus from water that flowed through a 2.5 hectare enclosure in Devon. … The dams had trapped more than 100 tonnes of sediment, 70 per cent of which was soil, which had eroded from ‘intensively managed grassland’ fields upstream.” https://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2018/05/09/beavers-reduce-river-pollution-building-dams-study-shows/

“The UK nuclear industry is also grappling with spiralling decommissioning costs, with the head of the Nuclear Decommissioning Authority this week suggesting leaving behind ‘industrial clutter in a few places’ as a way of saving money – and Government has agreed, issuing a consultation on lowering standards of decommissioning.” https://unearthed.greenpeace.org/2018/05/09/government-says-it-could-put-nuclear-waste-dump-under-national-parks/

Someone, somewhere in the UK government, is pondering whether to grant (once native before being hunted to extinction by us) beavers ‘resident’ status in England on condition they sort our nuclear mess.

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Hare-brained

“The Scottish Gamekeepers Association even warn that: ‘… The over-grazing damage was caused solely by mountain hares.'” https://www.onekind.scot/killing-mountain-hares-is-not-conservation/

The lack of native vegetation can in no way be attributed to (a) plagues of red grouse or (b) regular torching with accelerants.

Aqua Vitae

“If trends persist, the amount of pharmaceutical effluence leaching into waterways could increase by two-thirds before 2050 … A large number of drugs – analgesics, antibiotics, anti-platelet agents, hormones, psychiatric drugs, antihistamines – have been found at levels dangerous for wildlife.” https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2018/apr/11/drug-waste-clogs-rivers-around-the-world-scientists-say

If we can just pump enough medication into our drinking water, the human population will become completely healthy.

Plawstic

“Marine plastic litter can already be controlled through the United Nations Convention on the Law of the Sea (UNCLOS); the London Convention; the MARPOL Convention; the Basel Convention; Customary Law, and many other regional agreements.
Article 194 of UNCLOS, for instance, requires states to ‘prevent, reduce and control pollution of the marine environment from any source.
Measures shall include, inter alia, those designed to minimize to the fullest possible extent… the release of toxic, harmful or noxious substances, especially those which are persistent, from land-based sources… [and] shall include those necessary to protect and preserve rare or fragile ecosystems as well as the habitat of depleted, threatened or endangered species and other forms of marine life.'” http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-43115486

If only the legal profession was as persistent.

Unrequited

“The first time in 40 years that a gannet had flown in to roost but, instead of bringing a partner, Nigel quickly became infatuated with one of the 80 decoys designed to lure the real thing to the island.
So taken was he with his concrete love that he built it a nest out of seaweed and sticks, and was seen by volunteers apparently trying to woo it.” https://www.stuff.co.nz/environment/101073714/the-wrong-ending-nigel-the-lonely-gannet-found-dead-beside-his-concrete-love

Relationship success needs more than love, and something concrete isn’t enough either.

Hedgetig

“Despite their popularity, hedgehogs are now something of a rare sight in British gardens – and are in fact disappearing at the same rate as tigers worldwide” http://theconversation.com/how-to-stop-the-humble-hedgehog-disappearing-from-british-gardens-and-countryside-forever-89432

Hedgehogs, the tiger’s preferred food…or deadliest foe…

Slow Seas-on

“After more than five years of negotiations, UN members are poised to agree to draw up a new rulebook by 2020, which could establish conservation areas, catch quotas and scientific monitoring.” https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2017/dec/22/un-poised-to-move-ahead-with-landmark-treaty-to-protect-high-seas

After five years…poised to agree to draw up in three years, something that could…?

Like Apple, the UN insists that this slowdown feature is not an example of planned obfuscation, and instead is designed to protect bureaucracy and prolong the life of committees. (https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2017/dec/21/apple-admits-slowing-older-iphones-because-of-flagging-batteries)