Rigged

“Big oil already receives generous public subsidy to extract a resource we know we have to start leaving in the ground. It would be wrong for this same industry to be allowed to walk away from a situation that could create jobs and protect the marine environment we all rely on.” https://greens.scot/news/brent-platforms-warning-must-be-taken-seriously

The oil industry is notoriously slippery to pin down.

Whoilwind

“…with the discovery of substantial new [oil] reserves 60 miles west of the Shetland Isles.
Hurricane Energy, which made the find, hopes to begin extraction of a projected one billion barrels of oil in 2019.” https://www.commonspace.scot/articles/10643/largest-undeveloped-oil-field-discovered-west-shetland-isles

The offshore energy company was named for the exciting new weather features it hopes to herald by liberating more fossil fuels.

Renewitchery

“In the last decade, the share of renewables in the energy sector has doubled every 5.5 years. If doubling continues at this pace fossil fuels will exit the energy sector well before 2050.” https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2017/mar/23/moores-law-carbon-would-defeat-global-warming

Double, double, oil in trouble; Fossils burn till carbon bubble.

Clawmate Change

“We know emissions cause climate change. Until recently, assigning specific blame – establishing whose fault it is – wasn’t possible. But science is racing towards sure ways to clarify ‘whodunnit’ – and to what extent they did it.” (http://www.theecologist.org/campaigning/2986867/are_fossil_fuel_giants_violating_human_rights_the_philippines_will_decide.html)

The only way to get people’s attention is to make it a reality courtroom gameshow.

Fossil Fuel Fauna

“Another stretch of coast was placed off-limits to the public in Long Beach a week later after a wave of tar balls washed up there, and swarms of oil blobs have come ashore.” (http://uk.reuters.com/article/2015/06/23/us-usa-california-oilspill-idUKKBN0P30D120150623)

To counter the massive rate of human-induced extinction, we’re animating crude creatures.

The Doomsday Dance

“The Shell document says: ‘We also do not see governments taking steps now that are consistent with 2 degrees C scenario.'” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/may/17/shell-accused-of-strategy-risking-catastrophic-climate-change)

We’ll happily take a step just as soon as you do.
Well, we’ll happily make a move if you’re all agreed that we should.
You absolutely should so long as it’s unilateral across all companies.
Of course, of course; so you’ll take that step?
We’ll happily take a step just as soon as you do.
Ad apocalypsium.

“If we want to avoid the worst effects of climate change, we need to keep Arctic oil in the ground. Arctic drilling gives us a 75 percent chance of an oil spill and a 100 percent chance of climate catastrophe.” (http://news.mongabay.com/2015/0515-morgan-shell-gets-green-light-for-exploratory-drilling.html)

Umped

“Carbon reserves were becoming more concentrated at the top as fossil fuel companies struggling with slumps in coal and oil markets merged. … Investors who dumped their fossil fuel holdings over the past five years actually earned 1.2% a year more than those remaining in coal, oil and gas.” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/apr/19/carbon-reserves-held-by-top-fossil-fuel-companies-soar)

Fossil fuel dumps and coal and oil slumps
Give billionaires grumps as their gravy gets lumps.