Palmprint

“Avoiding palm oil may not actually help protect orangutans and other biodiversity. All agriculture has a footprint, and palm oil is a very efficient way of producing vegetable oil – if companies were forced to switch to alternative oils, up to ten times as much land would be needed to meet global demand for vegetable oils. … What we need to do is ensure that it is cultivated in the least damaging way possible.” (http://news.mongabay.com/2014/1212-eu-palm-oil-labeling.html)

Our palm oil footprint must include opposable toes.

Dyspepsic

“Activists hijack Pepsi’s new product launch on Amazon over deforestation… ‘Pepsi could be a leader in sustainability, could rise above its competitors and do the right thing, but instead it has relied on half measures’.” (http://news.mongabay.com/2014/1120-pepsi-true-palm-oil.html#sthash.MP9SvURr.dpbs)

A full measure of your finest unsustainable palm oil, and make it sparkly!

Aeropalm

“Indonesia’s national airline, Garuda Indonesia, says it will start mixing palm oil-based biofuel with its jet fuel as part of an initiative to ‘reduce’ carbon emissions.” (http://news.mongabay.com/2014/0828-garuda-indonesia-palm-oil.html)

By 2020 it plans to complete the conversion to mahogany wood-stoked engines.

Greased

“Agricultural giant Cargill, America’s largest palm oil importer, will no longer buy palm oil from sources associated with deforestation, conversion of peatlands, and social conflict. … The company added that it may cut off suppliers who don’t comply with its policy.” (http://news.mongabay.com/2014/0730-cargill-palm-oil-policy.html)

Suppliers who don’t adhere may find themselves on a slippery slope.

Hair-oil

“As a result of rainforest destruction by Procter & Gamble’s suppliers, household brands containing palm oil, such as Head & Shoulders shampoo and Gillette shaving gel, are contributing to climate change, key tropical biodiversity loss and social deprivation,” Greenpeace reports. (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2014/feb/27/greenpeace-urges-procter-gamble-to-reject-harmful-palm-oil-practices)

This bodes well for the company’s new product range, tagged ‘hair doesn’t care’.