Renewitchery

“In the last decade, the share of renewables in the energy sector has doubled every 5.5 years. If doubling continues at this pace fossil fuels will exit the energy sector well before 2050.” https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2017/mar/23/moores-law-carbon-would-defeat-global-warming

Double, double, oil in trouble; Fossils burn till carbon bubble.

Renewellbles

“Scotland has the potential to produce well more energy than it needs from renewable sources…” (https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/europe/in-scotland-gusts-of-wind-usher-in-a-quiet-energy-revolution/2016/10/15/e5da2f5a-8a57-11e6-8cdc-4fbb1973b506_story.html)

…without more wells:
“The Scottish Government will not support underground coal gasification (UCG) developments in Scotland.” (http://news.scotland.gov.uk/News/Underground-coal-gasification-blocked-2c9f.aspx)

“The country’s next challenge … is to figure out how to translate success in electricity production to lagging areas, such as heating and transport.” (https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/europe/in-scotland-gusts-of-wind-usher-in-a-quiet-energy-revolution/2016/10/15/e5da2f5a-8a57-11e6-8cdc-4fbb1973b506_story.html)

Lagging is of course usually deployed as insulation – the Scottish climate giveth and it taketh away.

Opportunity Wind Blow

“While offshore wind is still favoured by ministers, the blow to onshore wind – which is much cheaper, and when carbon emissions are taken into consideration is cheaper than traditional fossil-fuel forms of generation – has been a cause of concern to wind investors.” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2016/feb/03/worlds-largest-offshore-windfarm-to-be-built-off-yorkshire-coast)

UK government may have misunderstood which sort of blow windfarms need.

Carboff

“The Chancellor has just effectively put a carbon tax on carbon free electricity, which will mean fewer renewables and more uncertainty for the industry.” (http://www.foe.co.uk/blog/like-making-apple-juice-pay-alcohol-tax-clean-energy-faces-carbon-tax)

Snappy name: car-bon, like ‘good car’. Have I stumbled upon the fossils fuelling this oxymoron? Or am I just another fool who’ll be paying it?

Ballasted

“Its Hywind turbine, mounted on a ballasted vertical steel cylinder that floats upright and is anchored to the seabed, has a unique navigation system developed by Statoil to keep it in the position.” (http://uk.reuters.com/article/2015/07/07/us-statoil-windpower-floating-idUKKCN0PH1ST20150707)

That would be the anchor.

Tilting at Windmills

“When you’re the leader of Australia you don’t always have the chance to, I think, just have thought bubbles. You’ve got to create investment certainty. What will the renewable energy investors in wind power now think, knowing Australia is run by a bloke who says he doesn’t like windmills?” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/jun/11/windfarms-may-have-potential-health-impacts-tony-abbott-says)

Thought bubbles are caused by inconsistent cranial pressure due to cognitive dissonance, i.e. holding mutually incompatible beliefs, such as ‘climate change isn’t happening, or if it is, it isn’t human-caused, and it’s certainly not Australia’s problem.’ You’re still cactus.

Cloudy

“Apple is the most aggressive in powering its data center operations with renewable energy, and continues to lead the way toward a green internet. … The report also highlights the ‘continued lack of transparency’ by ‘cloud’ giant Amazon.” (http://www.theecologist.org/News/news_round_up/2866566/coalheavy_utilities_stand_in_the_way_of_a_green_internet.html)

Apples are often green. Clouds generally lack transparency.