Parrific

“While wealthy nations mull over climate projections and agonise over potential dips in GDP, the stereotypically ebullient Pacific islanders aim to bring some steely reality to Paris. … ‘I won’t be going to Paris in a Pacific frame of mind at all.’ … ‘We say if you save Tuvalu you save the world, because if you bring down emissions enough to save us, the rest of the world will be OK.'” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/nov/02/pacific-islands-make-last-ditch-plea-to-world-before-paris-climate-change-talks)

Like the Pacific islanders, world ‘leaders’ should prepare to be inundated.

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Carbon Dioxice

“Even if greenhouse gases were frozen at current levels, the oceans would continue to warm for centuries and thus lead to rising sea levels.” (http://www.theecologist.org/News/news_analysis/2959092/the_world_is_already_committed_to_a_six_meter_sea_level_rise.html)

If greenhouse gases were frozen they would be solids and your lungs would be full of grit and frostbite. Better that than sea water?

Waves

“Waters near big chunks of land and ice are literally pulled up onto shores by gravity. … If Greenland melted enough to raise global seas by an average of 1 metre, for example, the gravitational effect would lower water levels near Greenland by 2.5 metres and raise them by as much as 1.3 metres far away.” (http://www.nature.com/news/climate-science-rising-tide-1.13749)

Greenland is so named because, like the moon, it’s made of green cheese – with special tidal powers.