I-know-saur

“Despite becoming extinct over 400 years ago, 14 per cent of the respondents believed this flightless bird [the dodo] is currently under threat from hunters. 19% of respondents also listed the population of the dinosaur Brachiosaurus as endangered, and 14% as not endangered. Hundreds of people also wrongly deemed the grey squirrel, crane fly, swan, flamingo and Friesian cow (a typical breed of cattle) as endangered species.” (http://www.wwf.org.uk/about_wwf/press_centre/index.cfm?uNewsID=7557)

Bless the British public and all other ideological dinosaurs still roaming the Earth.

Help us to save Friesian cattle,
From hunters who wickedly battle,
Daisy and her ilk,
To curdle their milk,
And leave their bones to deathly rattle.

Beware, if you walk in the park,
Of dinosaurs chewing the bark.
It wouldn’t take munch,
For you to go crunch,
And find yourself more in the dark.

Shed tears for the endangered crane fly:
The blundering, long-legged pain fly.
It circles your lamp,
Until there’s a thump,
And left on your book is a stain fly.

Beware if you visit the beach,
For dodos have made it their niche.
Your crisps they will snatch,
Your eyes they will scratch,
And on leaving they’ll shit on your peach.

Mariniature

“Not only are hundreds of marine species likely to be wiped out as more and more carbon dioxide is dissolved in the Earth’s oceans but also that creatures that do survive – in particular those with shells, such as clams, oysters and snails – will be left puny and shrunken as a result.” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/may/16/global-warming-shellfish-warning)

We all need to stop being so shellfish.

Exting

“One in six of the planet’s species will be lost forever to extinction if world leaders fail to take action on climate change. … Such a large loss would be a tragedy with serious ramifications for people as well as ecosystems.” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/apr/30/one-in-six-of-worlds-species-faces-extinction-due-to-climate-change-study)

Bookie’s offers 6-1 on human extinction.

“The findings echo those of WWF’s Living Planet Report. Our report lookd back and found that populations of vertebrate species have halved since 197o. This report looks forward and finds that many species are threatened with extinction if we fail to tackle climate change.
We have an opportunity to tackle climate change if we act now, so the next Government must make climate change one of its top ” (http://www.wwf.org.uk/about_wwf/press_centre/index.cfm?uNewsID=7548)

Not only are the characters ‘e’ and ‘0’ facing extinction, whole words are disappearing from the fac of the

Fly-fishing

“If the invasive goldfish escape into waterways downstream, they pose a threat to native species such as channel catfish, pumpkinseed and blue gill sun fish. … Authorities are seeking the public’s help in finding out who dumped the goldfish.” (http://uk.reuters.com/article/2015/04/11/us-usa-colorado-goldfish-idUKKBN0N12BA20150411)

The pumpkinseed originally drew the canaryfish. The catfish had to be sent in after it, but became distracted by the magpiefish that were following the blue gill sun fish. Thankfully this bungled trophic cascade was halted before helpful local residents released dogfish, lionfish or human angler fish.
Next week: more non-native nonsense here on Channel Catfish.

Exeunt

“The world is heading inexorably towards a mass extinction – which is defined as one involving a loss of 75% of species or more. … The loss for the planet is incalculable – as it is for our own species which could soon find itself living in a world denuded of all variety in nature. As ecologist Paul Ehrlich has put it: “In pushing other species to extinction, humanity is busy sawing off the limb on which it perches.”” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2014/dec/14/earth-faces-sixth-great-extinction-with-41-of-amphibians-set-to-go-the-way-of-the-dodo)

Will we get a Darwin lifetime achievement award?