Horizontoil

“The eggs of many animals – from trout in the Gulf [of Mexico] to pelicans nesting as far away as Minnesota – have been found to contain oil and the dispersant used by BP in the wake of the [Deepwater Horizon] spill.” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/mar/31/bp-pr-effort-gulf-coast-deepwater)

Any desirable ‘self-cooking-and-washing-up-after’ properties promoted by BP were met with scepticism by Easter eaters.

Drill Spill

The US Bureau of Ocean Energy Management “has backed [Arctic] drilling after going through the process again, despite revealing in its Environmental Impact Statement ‘there is a 75% chance of one or more large spills’ occurring.” (http://www.theguardian.com/business/2015/mar/22/shell-oil-driling-in-arctic-set-to-get-us-government-permission)

Separating oil from ice looks to be a slippery target.

Syrup

“Thousands of fish are expected to die in Honolulu waters after a leaky pipe caused 1,400 tons of molasses to ooze into the harbor.” (http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/sep/12/hawaii-honolulu-molasses-spill-fish-dying)

The popular destination is likely to be inundated by balding desperadoes who mishear ‘syrup of fish’.