Biddable Binners

Rooks “will be encouraged to spruce up the park through the use of a small box that delivers a nugget of bird food each time the rook deposits a cigarette end or small piece of rubbish.” https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/aug/11/rook-at-this-mess-french-park-trains-crows-to-pick-up-litter

We could simplify the process by rationing litterers’ food, and only issue them with pellets in return for tidying.

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Coffeetive Dissonance

“Environment Secretary Michael Gove said in December that Britain had to “stop offshoring our dirt” and deal with its plastic waste at home.” https://unearthed.greenpeace.org/2018/06/14/china-plastics-ban-malaysia-vietnam-poland/

“However, the reusable version appeared to have been abandoned in favour of a plastic-lined, single-use cup as he gave evidence to the Environment, Food and Rural Affairs Committee on the work of Defra – including topics such as farming, air quality and post-Brexit plans.” https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/michael-gove-disposable-coffee-cup-environment-meeting-plastic-pollution-latte-levy-a8396761.html

UK government is committed to personally creating fulfilling jobs for those who deal with its plastic waste.

Peelyethylene

“Prepacked orange segments … last about four days whereas a whole orange can last months. Compare the environmental lifetime of orange peel (months) and polyethylene (effectively eternity) – all for the convenience of not peeling an orange.” http://theconversation.com/plastic-packaging-is-often-pollution-for-profit-95015

But with the ‘prepared’ orange, you get the bonus chance of discovering some overworked, underpaid, abused, injured, migrant worker’s blue plaster.

Driving Down Plastic Waste

“The friction, pressure and heat of driving wears tyres down so much they produce an estimated average of 63,000 tonnes per year of plastic dust in the UK alone.” http://theconversation.com/ten-stealth-microplastics-to-avoid-if-you-want-to-save-the-oceans-90063

Please select your preference:
1. breathe
2. drink
3. eat

Canny

“AG Barr, the maker of Irn Bru, warned that “the scope for fraud in a Scottish DRS [deposit return scheme] is huge. On a small scale we could see people scavenging in bins for containers, as is the US experience. On a medium scale there is the potential for local authority amenity centre looting. And on a larger scale there is the very real possibility of cross-border trafficking of deposit-bearing containers. It costs around £400 to move a lorry load of cans from England to Scotland. A single lorry could carry 160,000 crushed cans or £32,000 worth of deposits.”” https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2017/sep/05/scotland-planning-deposit-return-scheme-for-bottles-and-cans

And on a massive scale, there’s combining the health hazards of refined sugar, carbonic and citric acids, artificial flavourings, preservatives and colours, and rust into a multimillion pound business.

Plastic Factastic

“We’ve produced a whopping 8.3 billion metric tons of plastics since the 1950s. That’s enough plastic to cover every inch of the UK ankle-deep more than TEN TIMES OVER.” https://www.greenpeace.org.uk/plastic-facts-keep-getting-scarier/

If we continue landfilling it, we may keep the land above the rising sea level.