Beluga Wail

“[Georgia] aquarium argues introducing new belugas into the captive population in the US would diversify the gene pool, make the population more stable and broaden the database of research on belugas’ needs and capabilities. … ‘If we don’t win here, the population of belugas in human care in North America would eventually cease to exist,’ [a Georgia Aquarium spokesperson] said. ‘It’s just not currently a sustainable population.'” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/aug/08/aquarium-legal-battle-beluga-whales-russia)

The animal rights movement once again overlooks the plight of shareholders, or ‘human carers’.

Advertisements

Suctacean

“A team used GPS technology and suction cups to track how the giant mammals respond when a vessel is barreling toward them. … Blue whales, instead of diving sharply, responded to approaching ships by descending gradually at a rate of just over a foot and a half (0.5 meter) per second, and did not try swimming to one side.” (http://uk.reuters.com/article/2015/05/11/us-usa-whales-ships-idUKKBN0NW28820150511)

Herr Heisenberg once again explains that by encrusting a whale with suction cups you also slightly destroy its gliding agility and usually placid nature.

Whalicide

“The Japanese government rejected imports of Norwegian whale meat because tests showed samples contained pesticides … thought to play a role in causing birth defects, neurological harm, and some cancers if humans consume them in high quantities. … In the past, shipments of Norwegian whale meat have been found to be infested with bacteria and also to contain potentially dangerous levels of mercury.” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/world-on-a-plate/2015/mar/23/japan-refuses-norways-toxic-whale-meat)

Despite their increasing scarcity, whaling is getting like shooting sick fish in a barrel.

I like to keep my er whale blubber free of pesticides and avoid contributing to the environmental problem by using Green People health and beauty products.

Tune

“The blue whale song is so loud, and the ship’s equipment so advanced, the scientist should be able to start tracking the whales not long after leaving port.” (http://uk.whales.org/news/2015/01/whale-song-could-reveal-true-impact-of-slaughter)

Tune in to Radio Whales.

Americannon

Sonic cannon “exploration by [US] energy companies [will] expose whales, dolphins and other marine wildlife, such as turtles, to extreme levels of noise pollution under the water. The sonic cannons can fire pulses of sound 100 times louder than a jet engine through the water and down to the ocean floor.” (http://uk.whales.org/news/2014/07/us-government-approves-use-of-underwater-sonic-cannons)

It’s akin to a whale waving a class 4 laser in your building – you know, the ones which bounce off any surface and all you are aware of is a high pitched shriek as your eyeballs boil.

Tied

“Wildlife experts have saved the life of an endangered right whale which had 280 feet of fishing rope caught in its mouth.” (http://uk.whales.org/news/2014/02/whale-with-280-feet-of-fishing-rope-in-its-mouth-is-saved)

An altogether wrong illustration of the expression ‘hanging a right’.