Opportunity Wind Blow

“While offshore wind is still favoured by ministers, the blow to onshore wind – which is much cheaper, and when carbon emissions are taken into consideration is cheaper than traditional fossil-fuel forms of generation – has been a cause of concern to wind investors.” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2016/feb/03/worlds-largest-offshore-windfarm-to-be-built-off-yorkshire-coast)

UK government may have misunderstood which sort of blow windfarms need.

Ballasted

“Its Hywind turbine, mounted on a ballasted vertical steel cylinder that floats upright and is anchored to the seabed, has a unique navigation system developed by Statoil to keep it in the position.” (http://uk.reuters.com/article/2015/07/07/us-statoil-windpower-floating-idUKKCN0PH1ST20150707)

That would be the anchor.

Tilting at Windmills

“When you’re the leader of Australia you don’t always have the chance to, I think, just have thought bubbles. You’ve got to create investment certainty. What will the renewable energy investors in wind power now think, knowing Australia is run by a bloke who says he doesn’t like windmills?” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/jun/11/windfarms-may-have-potential-health-impacts-tony-abbott-says)

Thought bubbles are caused by inconsistent cranial pressure due to cognitive dissonance, i.e. holding mutually incompatible beliefs, such as ‘climate change isn’t happening, or if it is, it isn’t human-caused, and it’s certainly not Australia’s problem.’ You’re still cactus.

Re-peat

“Scottish and Southern Energy (SSE) has proposed a 39-turbine development at Strathy South in Sutherland, which would only operate for a maximum of 25 years … [and yet] could take up to 24.8 years to ‘pay back’ the carbon impacts of its construction … [because it] would be situated on a peatland site.” (http://www.rspb.org.uk/media/releases/398890-sse-windfarm-at-strathy-south-could-take-over-20-years-to-become-carbon-neutral)

Renewable — capable of being renewed, on a 25 year contract, without perceivable benefit.

Towerbine

“One of the world’s most iconic sites has become the latest high profile venue to embrace renewable energy, after the installation of two vertical axis wind turbines as part of the Eiffel tower’s high profile renovation project.” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/feb/25/eiffel-tower-embraces-wind-power)

Vive la revolution.

Renewable Rage

“There was no direct evidence that exposure to wind farms affects someone’s physical or mental health directly. … There was evidence that people were more likely to be annoyed, particularly annoyed about wind farms, when they were close to them, and we do know that being annoyed, long periods of being annoyed, can lead to stress, and we know stress can lead to …” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/feb/11/wind-farm-study-finds-no-direct-evidence-they-affect-health)

… gabbling.

Target

If the Australian renewable energy target is cut, “it’s the type of jolt to industry that basically would create such an upheaval that you would have a mass exodus.” (http://uk.reuters.com/article/2015/02/09/us-australia-windfarms-idUKKBN0LC00C20150209)

Perhaps the target fixers need an electrical jolt up the mass exodus.

Billionding Obvious

“Europe could have saved itself $100 billion by installing solar power panels in sunnier countries and wind turbines in windier places,” reported the World Economic Forum. (http://uk.reuters.com/article/2015/01/20/us-utilities-europe-davos-idUKKBN0KT2BC20150120)

How much did the report cost?

Seawind

“Several [US] state governments are forging ahead with their own ambitions for offshore wind farms, and commercial developers say that they could start planting turbines in the ocean as early as next year. … But before the field can take off, proponents will have to prove that offshore wind can compete financially against other energy sources, and can clear the thicket of state and federal regulations that govern projects in coastal waters.” (http://www.nature.com/news/renewable-energy-wind-power-tests-the-waters-1.15992)

As offshore wind power becomes an exploitable resource, these crop allusions will need a turbine harvester.

Forestry

The proposed site of a large-scale wind farm “is completely encircled by globally important peatland habitats, protected under European and Scots law. The area proposed for development would have been given similar protection were it not for inappropriate planting with conifers in the 1980s.” (http://www.rspb.org.uk/media/releases/353694-rspb-scotland-set-to-object-to-a-damaging-wind-farm-proposal-threatening-the-flow-country)

Some wag arranged the trees in blatantly pornographic poses and from a nearby hill their placement clearly spells ‘arse’.