CAPling

“We need to make our trees, woods and cherished landscapes more resilient in the face of current threats. We need to invest in them, to make them more capable of bouncing back from inevitable future impacts.” (http://www.woodlandtrust.org.uk/blogs/woodland-trust/2016/08/post-eu-world/)

Perhaps a variety of rubber tree?

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Die-phosate

“The trees appeared to have died suddenly. … Drill holes at the base of the trees [indicated] that a poison – most likely glyphosate – had been poured into these holes.” (http://www.woodlandtrust.org.uk/blogs/woodland-trust/2015/07/trees-poisoned-in-lancashire-woodland/)

Monsanto’s glyphosate: now the poison of choice for arboricidal maniacs already intoxicated by drinking too much milk.

Gramophene

“Carpets of bluebells transform many of Scotland’s woods … There is a great network of recorders who look for signs of seasonal change in their local area, but we could always use more to maintain a phonological record that goes all the way back to 1684.” (http://www.woodlandtrust.presscentre.com/News-Releases/Scotland-s-bluebells-are-blooming-early-1121.aspx)

If you haven’t heard bluebells tinkling or hawthorn grunting, now is your chance.

Toast

“If you’re lucky enough to own a piece of land, depending on what tree species are planted, you could be coppicing your own firewood within a decade.” (http://www.woodlandtrust.presscentre.com/News-Releases/Landowners-in-Northern-Ireland-invited-to-warm-to-the-benefits-of-woodland-f7c.aspx)

Meanwhile, gather your eggboxes and thistledown, and snuggle in.