Working Canine to Five

5pm is their dinner time. When it’s around 4.50, they will start to be distracted. So, you can’t really have them work anymore. And we can’t have them working after dinner either because they need a nap.

Insert your own joke here.


The industry has made improvements to its operating model, as has been set out. That must continue, especially in the light of the challenges around muirburn, lead shot and losses to natural predation, particularly aviation predation.

Hansard Contribution by Dave Doogan (Angus) (SNP)

Surely figures on aviation predation have been artificially low during lockdown?

Drink Drive

A car dealer in [China’s] Eshan county reported last week that six visiting elephants had drunk two tonnes of water in his shop.

…before asking to test drive a motorhome, since their commute between home and forage habitats has become ridiculous.

Circoilar Economy

ConocoPhillips plans to install “chillers” into the permafrost — which is thawing fast because of climate change — to keep it solid enough to drill for oil

Biden’s Fossil Fuel Moves Clash With Pledges on Climate …

Fear not: the chillers will use less oil than the drills will liberate.

We apologise for any disruption

We’re exposed to [endocrine-disrupting chemicals (EDCs)] through what we eat and drink, the air we breathe, and the products we put on our skin. … Present-day sperm count data speaks not to the chemical environment today, but to the environment as it was when those men were still in the womb. That environment is undoubtedly becoming more polluted.

The more we demand from this planet, the more we get: climate change, pandemic, infertility… Can you hear cackling? I can hear cackling.

The UK police and detention, courts and sentencing, crime and punishment, war and peace bill

The UK government … has proposed a bill which would give the police extra powers to use against protests, based on a government report which focused on disruption caused by Extinction Rebellion and protests against fracking, a badger cull, and the construction of the high-speed rail line HS2.

This report gives the green-light to more surveillance on campaigners and a new label – “aggravated activists”. Its definition includes campaigners seeking political or social change “that involves unlawful behaviour or criminality…or causes an adverse economic impact to businesses”.

– potentially anyone who causes disruption to any of a company’s business activities can find themselves included within it.

If you act in any way that diminishes a business’s profits, your liberty will be similarly diminished. Better for Britain.

Petrochemicals need Protection

The bill would establish Louisiana as a “fossil fuel sanctuary state” and ban local and state employees from enforcing federal laws and regulations that negatively impact petrochemical companies.

Fossil fuels are indeed at conservation status ‘threatened’, from those trying to extinguish them. Hydrocarbons have a right to liberty and freedom of combustion.

Elephants to be Handicapped

The last post was a while ago, but the daftness continues unabated…

A video showing Wayne LaPierre, the polarizing head of the National Rifle Association, shooting but struggling to kill an African bush elephant

Video of N.R.A. Chief Wayne LaPierre Shooting an Elephant Draws Criticism – The New York Times

What exactly is in his job requirement, if not the ability to shoot straight? Distressing buffoon. Disappointing that the counter-project to arm bears is underperforming.

Average Motion

“Cuadrilla said it appreciated the tremor [of 2.9 magnitude] had ’caused concern for local people’ and said ‘it is worth noting that this event lasted for around a second and the average ground motion recorded was 5mm per second. … This is about a third of that permitted for construction projects.'”

However, there is a much higher requirement for destruction projects.

Solar Flannel

“About 100 solar panels at the trackside site will supply renewable electricity to power the signalling and lights on Network Rail’s Wessex route.”

Network Rail adds a new conker to its armoury of pitiful excuses for delays: ‘cloud’.

“There is also scope for solar trams in Edinburgh, Glasgow…”

Scope is what you’ll need to magnify the one photon of sunlight in Scotland.