Happy

“A determination that Happy, an elephant, may invoke habeas corpus to challenge her confinement at the Bronx Zoo — a confinement both authorized and, by all indications, compliant with state and federal statutory law and regulations — would have an enormous destabilizing impact on modern society,” read the majority decision. “It is not this Court’s role to make such a determination.”

Happy The Bronx Zoo Elephant Is Not A ‘Person,’ Court Rules | HuffPost Latest News

The abolition of human slavery had a similar “destabilising” effect.

Drink Drive

A car dealer in [China’s] Eshan county reported last week that six visiting elephants had drunk two tonnes of water in his shop.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2021/jun/02/herd-of-escaped-elephants-leave-500km-trail-of-destruction-in-south-west-china

…before asking to test drive a motorhome, since their commute between home and forage habitats has become ridiculous.

Elephants to be Handicapped

The last post was a while ago, but the daftness continues unabated…

A video showing Wayne LaPierre, the polarizing head of the National Rifle Association, shooting but struggling to kill an African bush elephant

Video of N.R.A. Chief Wayne LaPierre Shooting an Elephant Draws Criticism – The New York Times

What exactly is in his job requirement, if not the ability to shoot straight? Distressing buffoon. Disappointing that the counter-project to arm bears is underperforming.

The elephant in the moon

“The British and Irish Association of Zoos and Aquariums has said that leaving the EU without a deal could threaten already endangered species, whose survival depends on easy access to Europe-wide breeding programmes.” https://www.theguardian.com/environment/shortcuts/2017/apr/09/how-to-move-an-elephant-to-europe-post-brexit

Zoos may retain a role in rehabilitation or palliative care for victims of our systemic animal abuse, but appealing to Europhobes on free movement? A bit ambitious. A bit late. How likely are anti-migrant, anti-refugee ‘populists’ to listen to ‘conservation’ dinosaurs? Actually, all too likely.

“Computer software does the matching. Each breeding programme has a coordinator who monitors the populations kept in captivity, and if it is time to move an animal – if there is a lone animal, or it is old enough to leave its family group, or a new zoo requires that species – they will contact the zoo and recommend it be involved in a breeding programme.”

Welcome to Orwellia.

“We then need to train the animal to go into that [transport] crate. It’s not a case any more of forcing an animal in.”

How enlightened.

Telephant

“It seems there are too many elephants in Swaziland. According to the website of one of the [US] zoos that will benefit from the deal, ‘the large elephant population is negatively affecting the land and natural resources inside the parks, changing dense forests into barren landscapes’. By taking the elephants, the zoos will be saving their lives, since otherwise they would have to be culled.” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/africa-wild/2015/nov/02/keep-elephants-in-the-wild-where-they-belong)

What a shame there are no nearer countries, say in Africa, that are short of elephants.

Try some suggestions of how you can help elephants.

Atitanborough

“China has committed to close down its domestic ivory market, which conservationists say provides cover for the illegal ivory trade, for which China is also the biggest player.” (http://news.mongabay.com/2015/0529-china-to-end-ivory-trade.html)

Never underestimate the Attenborough Effect (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/feb/20/david-attenborough-calls-on-chinese-president-end-ivory-trade).

Rhinocycled

“Two weeks ago the largest seizure of ivory and rhino horn in Mozambique’s history was made from the house of a Chinese national in Maputo. The 1.3 tonnes were poached from 65 rhinoceros and 170 elephants. … Thieves have [subsequently] raided a police storeroom holding Mozambique’s largest ever haul of confiscated rhino horn and ivory, making off with 12 horns valued at around £700,000.” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/may/27/thieves-steal-ivory-rhino-horn-mozambique-police)

This week’s special: double-poached horn, helping to keep illegal animal products out of the waste stream.

Elephibeean

“Research on elephant behavior has shown that playbacks of African bees can produce alarm calls and retreat in African elephants [and] frog playbacks [may] protect water towers, as frogs can reportedly get stuck in an elephant’s trunk while drinking.” (http://news.mongabay.com/2015/0430-wildtech-hahn-elephant-warning-system.html)

I drink, as you know, through my nose;
I snort and then squirt like a hose.
But you’d say I’m drunk,
If I told you my trunk,
Holds a family of dope-flavoured toads.

Elephanticide

“Zimbabwe has recently reaffirmed its pledge to export more young elephants to foreign buyers, and added that ‘culling’– mass slaughter — is another option under consideration.” (http://news.mongabay.com/2015/0417-montoro-zimbabwe-elephants.html)

That being preferable to being sold as parts on ebay. (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/apr/21/illegal-trade-in-endangered-wildlife-thriving-on-ebay-despite-controls)

Thankfully those Dickensian days when we used to sell organs for cash or whole people into slavery and send children away to school are long gone. Er…

Elepholiage

“The project has a number of roots. Elephants in Angola, which suffered decades of civil war, have been observed avoiding heavily-mined areas, suggesting their trunks were warning them to stay away.” (http://uk.reuters.com/article/2015/02/24/us-safrica-elephants-idUKKBN0LS0TF20150224)

One branch, on detecting TNT, wood quickly leaf the area.