CAPling

“We need to make our trees, woods and cherished landscapes more resilient in the face of current threats. We need to invest in them, to make them more capable of bouncing back from inevitable future impacts.” (http://www.woodlandtrust.org.uk/blogs/woodland-trust/2016/08/post-eu-world/)

Perhaps a variety of rubber tree?

Hole in Wood

“On average, each of us [in the UK] consumes just under a tonne of timber a year. Anything from 10 to 20% of that could be illegal depending on where it’s coming from, … due to some nonsense loopholes.” (http://www.wwf.org.uk/how_you_can_help/campaign_with_us/forest_campaign/)

Which wood is full of holes? For some Friday fun, take WWF’s Loopy Loopholes 5-question quiz – then take action.

Die-phosate

“The trees appeared to have died suddenly. … Drill holes at the base of the trees [indicated] that a poison – most likely glyphosate – had been poured into these holes.” (http://www.woodlandtrust.org.uk/blogs/woodland-trust/2015/07/trees-poisoned-in-lancashire-woodland/)

Monsanto’s glyphosate: now the poison of choice for arboricidal maniacs already intoxicated by drinking too much milk.

Architreeve

“The Government has described ancient woods as ‘a natural equivalent to our great churches and castles’ and ‘irreplaceable, living historic monuments’, so we feel it’s only right that wording to describe the treatment of ancient woodland is the same as that for Grade I listed buildings.” (http://www.woodlandtrust.org.uk/news/press-releases/planning-policy-must-contain-stronger-ancient-woodland-protection/)

Viz.: ‘substantial harm to or loss of designated heritage assets of the highest significance … should be holly exceptional.’

Vissolve

“You might not have heard of dissolving pulp, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t connected to it. … 100 million trees are cut down every year to make dissolving pulp that is destined for a second life as a piece of clothing. … Demand for dissolving pulp is driven by demand for viscose fibre … [and] demand for viscous fiber in China is expected to continue growing.” (http://news.mongabay.com/2014/1030-gfrn-gaworecki-dissolving-pulp-threatens-forests.html)

Dual-state cellulose, one minute thick and sticky, the next unravelling on you, is a crime of fashion.